Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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