I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
