She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
