Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
