So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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