Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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