I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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