Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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