Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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