I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
