I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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