Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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