these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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