K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
