You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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