And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
