About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
