I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Four minutes until I can fart!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
