I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize