Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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