maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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