the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
