The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize