I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
