Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
