I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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