SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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