Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
