Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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