sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize