someone threw a dead crab at me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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