I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
