1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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