Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
