I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Found your dick twin last night
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize