I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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