Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
