Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
