Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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