if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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