sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
