how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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