pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize