I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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