do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Bring me that man meat
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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