I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
