this beer tastes like vomit already
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
