:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
