He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I believe in your delicious
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize