I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Randomize
