Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
