Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
