I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
