i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
