only if we run a train.
done.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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