I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
MIDGETS
????
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
