me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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