Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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