I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Drunk is not a location!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
