Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Everyone says I win the strip club
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
