u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
