Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
