Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
