maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
