You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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