we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
